To Where You Are
by gothic-farie
Summary: song fic Kyou's reflections on the death of his wife Tohru, and how much she meant to him...and how hard it is to live without her...


Gothic: This is my first FB fic, and itÕs just a one shot. . . unless you want me to continue. . . itÕs up to you. 

Disclaimer: I in no way own Fruits Basket, or the song ÒTo Where You AreÓ By Josh Groban.

{Who can say for certain?

Maybe you're still here 

I feel you all around me 

Your memories so clear }

He could still see her smile, and hear her gentle laugh. That damn sound had filled up his entire body with happiness, and to see her smile. . . Gods, he could swear that smile had lit up the whole room. When she had smiled, it had lit up his entire world. When she was happy, he was happy. When she was down, he would do anything in the world to make her smile again. He couldnÕt stand to see her sad, it nearly broke his heart. Since she was the first person to accept him for whom he truly was, he couldnÕt lose her, he wouldnÕt let her down. 

{Deep in the stillness 

I can hear you speak 

You're still an inspiration 

Can it be?

That you are mine 

Forever love 

And you are watching over me from up above}

He remembered the day he had kissed her on the lips. It had been such a funny way; it made him smile just to think of it. He closed his eyes and heaved a huge sigh, his hands tightening around her picture, his fingers touching her face, remembering her innocence. She had been making dinner one night, not an important night, but he remembered the stars shown brighter than ever before. He had come into the kitchen, demanding milk, and she had readily stopped making dinner just to get him what he desired. She reached in, not knowing he watched her, a blush forming slightly on his tan cheeks, and he smiled slightly as she fussed over him, asking how his day was, had he had anything to eat recently and so forth, and he was content to listen to her beautiful voice. But just as she had turned with the cup in her hands, she tripped over her own two feet, colliding into him, and forcing him to catch her before she could make them go through the never ending cycle of transformations. To his surprise, her shoulders were shaking, and he could see tears forming in her beautiful eyes. He felt utterly confused, and began to open his mouth to speak, when she had whispered, ÒGomen, I never meant to. . .IÕm such a klutz. How can I be forgiven?Ó He had not even thought about the consequence of his actions, but had taken his hand, and stroked his fingers lightly over her pale cheek, and lightly kissed her on the lips, holding her tightly for one blessed moment, before he transformed. He remembered her look, her eyes shining, her cheeks blushing, a smile on her face, and holding him tightly.

{Fly me up to where you are 

Beyond the distant star 

I wish upon tonight 

To see you smile 

If only for awhile to know you're there 

A breath away's not far 

To where you are}

He missed her touch, her sweet embrace. He missed kissing her, he missed her cheerful ways. His heart broke every time he thought of her. He fought back tears, and bit his lip. It wasnÕt fair! He barely had a chance to be with her, and then she had been whisked away. He had only a few moments to feel her beside him, to hear her sweet nothings, to taste the sweet sugar of her lips. He wanted Ð no, needed to see her again. He looked up at the stars, and saw her smiling face among them, and he felt his heart shatter. He wanted only to see her one more time, and then one more time again . . . 

{Are you gently sleeping? 

Here inside my dream 

And isn't faith believing 

All power can't be seen}

He dreamt about her every night, and thought about her every day. Just the thought of her drove him mad, and when he didnÕt think of her, it drove him even farther off the edge. She had the power to soften his harsh words, to turn his rough edges into smooth curves, even though she had left a few, claiming they were a part of him, and she loved him for that.

{As my heart holds you 

Just one beat away 

I cherish all you gave me everyday 

'Cause you are mine 

Forever love 

Watching me from up above}

He walked over to their wedding album, and leafed through it, looking at all the pictures of them together, happy and in love. He smiled at pictures of them laughing, all of their friends and family together, if only for a short while. Even Yuki had come, and he had wished the couple all the happiness they could ever have. He stroked the pictures of their honeymoon, seeing her in her beautiful gown, twirling underneath the stars, reaching out for his hand. Those were the very stars he was underneath now, and he knew that somewhere up there, she was smiling down at him, and he felt a tear slide down his cheek.

{And I believe 

That angels breathe 

And that love will live on and never leave}

He stood gazing out through the window, and thought of her. . . his guardian angel. She looked over him when she was here with him, and would scold him repeatedly for acting as such, although she would permit him to have a few tears, telling him to release himself of the pain, and then remember that the sun shines every day, bringing with it a new beginning, washing away the old darkness, the old pain. He knew she would most likely be fluttering around up there, fussing over how he wasnÕt eating, and how he looked so sad. 

{Fly me up 

To where you are 

Beyond the distant star 

I wish upon tonight 

To see you smile 

If only for awhile 

To know you're there 

A breath away's not far 

To where you are}

He needed her more than words could say, and he couldnÕt live on without her. As he followed his daily routine, he walked through each room, seeing all of her belongings exactly the way before. . . it had happened. He had spent the last two months moving around from familiesÕ houses to hotels and back again. He couldnÕt stand all her stuff being there, but he couldnÕt just let it go. It was all he had of her. Finally he came to the bedroom, and he saw the bed tucked just the way he loved it, with the covers thrown back artistically to show the sheets with the kittens on them, and there on the center of the bed was a note. A note. . . from her. . . before she died.

{I know you're there 

A breath away's not far 

To where you are}

His heart froze in his chest, and for one moment, he could only stand there and stare. There on their bed was a beautifully written note from his wife, the day she had died. The day he had insisted on going to work. He closed his eyes, and images of rushing from work to the hospital, seeing the red lights flashing brightly against the white walls, feeling captive, seeing his wife in that bed, her eyes opening as she heard his footsteps, her face still trying to be happy, even while dying, still trying to cheer him up. He saw himself weeping on her shoulder as she stroked his back, whispering the loving words he had heard so often before. He had stroked her hair away from her face, and kissed her over and over until she had taken her final breath, and had uttered her last words of love. He had screamed her name over and over, and people had rushed in, holding him up, taking him away from his beloved. He had never known about the note. And now, he was back again, and there it was. He walked slowly over, and saw his name written lovingly on the front. His hand trembled slowly as he reached and picked it up, and hesitatingly read what it said before collapsing on the floor in tears, and whispering her name, falling into a sweet blackness where he could hear her calling out for him.

Their cat came wandering in a while later, and sat before her masterÕs head, batting at the note, opening it with her delicate paws, and seemed to scan it over before trotting away. The rain on the windowsill left shadows on the note, and seemed as tears for the lovers.

ÒMy darling Kyo,

I know right now you are at work, but today is our anniversary, and I just wanted to let you know that I love you with all my heart, and I am here for you, forever and ever. I love you, I love you, and I love you. Best wishes on your promotion. My darling, I must go to the grocery store to pick up dinner for tonight, so as much as I wish I could keep writing this love for you forever, tonight will have to do. I love you now and for always,

Your wife,

Tohru

**Gothic: So what did you all think? I thought it was sadÉ. But itÕs up to you! Tah tah!**


End file.
